Blog54 r...'The Hubby'...

Blog 54 r...'The Hubby'...

 This weekend we have been celebrating Father’s Day; this year I planned something completely different to the normal Sunday lunch with my father taking the limelight and the ‘Hubby’ quietly getting on with his day. This year I wanted to make him feel special…which of course he is… so I treated the ‘Hubby’ to a morning of no running around but a lazy breakfast time with the boys, followed by reading the Sunday papers…and a gentle snooze then a very quick visit to pop a bottle of wine off at my dad’s to keep him happy and then back home for an afternoon with the boys. Just recently there has been so much going on and things have been so hectic that I wanted to give us, as a family, some breathing space…so after lunch the ‘Hubby’ and the ‘Intelligent-one’ went on a mammoth bike ride whilst the ‘Cutie-pie’ and I worked on his homework and got his school bag packed for Monday. Then we had a leisurely stroll down to the local pub where by then the ‘Hubby’ and the ‘Intelligent-one’ were chilling with cool drinks and a light snack waiting for us…sheer bliss to sit in the sun and listen to the three males in my life talking ten to the dozen and laughing.

I sat back and watched the father of my sons…enjoying this quality time and realised just why I love him so much…

I first set eyes on my ‘Hubby’ when I was 14 and a half years of age…the half is very important as I was only supposed to be allowed to go to the local youth club once I had turned 15. But, that September in 1972 it was the Guild Celebrations in the town where I live and we had a house full of guests over from Ireland to share these celebrations. My friends had come round the night before and asked if I could go with them on the Saturday to the youth club…where there was a disco and cocoa-cola and boys!

My father refused and was furious thinking I had put them up to it…as if…but one of my Irish aunts persuaded him to let me go for two hours and the next day she took me shopping and bought me a fabulous mini-skirt; the likes of which had NEVER been given house room before!

So I donned my new skirt and a white angora jumper I ‘borrowed’ from my ‘big’ sister and my frizzy hair was plaited to keep it in place. I set off excitedly to enjoy the first ever disco of my life…as I walked in to the local school hall, the music was blasting out and tons of girls were sitting on the chairs against the wall and groups of boys were standing in the corners…my eyes alighted on a tall, dark-haired boy in two-tone purple parallels and yellow and sky blue striped Ben Sherman shirt and cherry red Doc-Martins [the style of the 70’s…yikes!] I was smitten.

I watched him most of the night…I had no idea how to dance…and on the way out he smiled and I melted. On the way home I was so excited but of course I wouldn’t be seeing him again until I was 15 which was a long way off; 12 weeks to be exact. I waited, I wrote about him in my diary, I day dreamed and then my friends who were allowed to go each week fed me information about him: his name, his friends’ names, what he was wearing…ahhh I began to pine for him and then WOW I was 15 and I was going to the disco!

Well of course he didn’t ever look at me, or smile, or talk and weeks flew by and each week I plucked up the courage to say hello and the week I was brave and ready…he didn’t turn up!

Fast forward…

when I was old enough to go into the town and have a few drinks with my friends we found a great pub and HE was in it…I didn’t stalk him but we often crossed paths [ahh the planning that went into that!] Eventually we got to the smiling stage and then of course he matured and started to go to different places and so he was relegated to doodles on my diary and school books and I collected bus tickets from whenever I was on the bus on my way home from school and he was cycling home from work and I would spot him a mile away!

Fast forward even more…

in my early 20’s I was home from Liverpool to enjoy the Easter holiday break and although I just wanted to sleep I gave in to my wonderful friends and went out with them…I do mean wonderful because if they hadn’t persisted I would not have gone dancing and would not have bumped into HIM !! If I’ve not said it before…thank you girls!

HE came across to talk…some lame excuse about ‘Don’t I know you…?’ of course I could hardly say ‘Yes I was the teenager who used to stalk you…’ so I just smiled and admitted that his best friend had gone out with my best friend years earlier and then we chatted and I fell in love…it took him a little longer but he got there in the end!

I couldn’t believe that he asked me out! [Irony of the situation is that years later HE admitted that he had mistaken me for someone else…but was glad that we got talking! So am I!] Our first real date should tell you something about how our courtship panned out…I was so excited as HE arranged to collect me the following Sunday afternoon for a trip out to the country. Carefully dressed in my hand knitted pink and white jumper, matching candy striped trousers and deep pink suede stilettoes…I know I must have looked like a ball of pink candy floss with my frizzy hair and huge pink hoop earrings…I tottered out to his car, my heart beating ten to the dozen… and off we went to the countryside.

OOOh how wonderful Sunday lunch in a cosy country pub where we could snuggle up and get to know one another…yeah right in my dreams.

HE parked up, collected some binoculars from the boot of his car and proceeded to walk me across fields to look at a rookery: grant it I also saw a fox for the first time, I heard a wood-pecker for the first time, I was shown tufted ducks for the first time and for the first time in a long time I really enjoyed myself: even when I got stuck in the mud, lost one of my prized shoes and ripped my trousers as we climbed over a fence…the highlight of the date? We sat in the car and HE produced a flask of the most wonderful milky coffee and a pile of cheese butties…it must have been love as I don’t drink milk!

We courted for years, seven in all before I managed to get him up the aisle…one Christmas he took me shopping and as we approached the jewellers my heart almost stopped…until he bought me a dress watch; another Christmas I was so excited when he took me late night Christmas shopping…to get me a TV. When I bought my own house, no we did not live together: he was living with his mum and my job would not have tolerated that sort of behaviour [that’s a whole different blog]…he bought me a carving knife, a set of plates and a kitchen clock for my Christmas present!

When HE finally did propose it wasn’t quite what I expected…my mother had died in the September and by the time of my birthday in the November I was at rock bottom with the most awful grief and the night before my birthday HE said: “I’ll take you in town tomorrow and buy you what you really want…” The thing is I thought; ‘Bloody hell what’s he getting me now, a fridge freezer?’

Worst of all after years of looking longingly at engagement rings I had stopped; having given it up as a lost cause, I had no idea what I liked and as we went shopping he said; “Right, I’m just nipping in W.H.Smith for my bird magazine, you nip in the jewellers and pick yourself a ring and I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

10 minutes? 10 minutes to pick the ring I’ll wear forever? Actually I did it! I looked in the window and the heart shaped blue topaz and diamond ring called out to me…20 minutes in town and we were sitting in the local coffee shop…me dazzled by my diamonds and HE reading his bird magazine…magic!

Well that’s our love story …he is simply the best and I never tell him that…he sat with me when I cried myself to sleep after mum died…he brought the wedding forward when we knew my ‘big’ sister was not going to recover from her cancer; I so desperately wanted her as my chief witness…one time he came out in the dark and pouring rain to fix my car and didn’t shout when he discovered I’d driven 2 miles on a flat tyre and had just turned the music up to drown out a ‘weird sound’…he patiently explained that the red light in our new car meant I was out of petrol…before we got married he put in a shower in my little bathroom and he didn’t complain about sleeping in a bedroom surrounded by flowered wall paper and lace once we were married…he taught me how to fish and how to recognise different birds and he took me to see all the football matches of his favourite team and never whinged when he missed goals because I needed the toilet and was afraid to go alone…he didn’t get cross when on our wedding day all the guests set off for the reception leaving his mother and my father behind with no transport…so they shared our beautiful cream coloured Rolls-Royce and dad sat in the front with the chauffeur and the ‘mother-in-law’ sat in between us and the pair of them drank our champagne…

When I miscarried our first baby he knelt on the floor by our bed and held my hand all night…when I lost our second baby he cried with me and tucked me up in my duvet and watched a million girlie films and ate junk food with me and told me it would be okay…when the ‘Intelligent-one’ was born he told me he loved me and I could name him my choice of names because I had given him a son…he bought the baby a football supporter’s bib which did last longer than the flowers I really wanted…when the ‘Cutie-pie’ was born he bought me a beautiful ring…to make up for all the flowers he didn’t buy me!

He bathed the new born baby boys because I was frightened of dropping them…he loved snuggling them up as an excuse to watch the football on Saturday afternoons; you must never disturb a sleeping baby on his father's lap…he taught them how to tie hooks and bait on fishing rods…how to ride bikes without stabilisers…and how to build barbecues using old fences [although we have an aunt in Ireland who is the champion of that activity…!]He has taught our boys how to cook a proper Sunday breakfast…he has tried to teach me but my bacon never turns out the same and I forget how to scramble eggs and time the sausages…I love it when he cooks on a Saturday night and he pours me a glass of wine and says; “Sit there and look pretty!” much to the amusement of our boys!

The boy's favourite past-time on a sunny day is to go ‘crabbing’ with their dad; in a boating lake at the seaside they spend hours dangling a piece of bacon on the end of a piece of string and then hauling large crabs out and into a bucket, counting who’s got the most before returning them unharmed…we have video footage of him running away from a large 'nipper' which was pretty fierce as it dangled from his string and then dropped onto his sandals instead of the bucket!

In short he has been the best father for our boys and he is working on being a good role model as they approach manhood; even though he had no father figure of his own as his dad died when the ‘Hubby’ was only 3 years old.

When the ‘Bridezilla’ was little and used to stay with us he took her out with her dolly in the pram even though he looked ridiculous…he played snowballs in the early hours of the morning when she had woken us up to see the snow…he persuaded me to buy her a new coat when she cried because she no longer wanted to wear the bright yellow and pink ‘Daisy-Duck’ coat  when she was 10 years of age [I know I’m a bit slow in the fashion department and have spent years asking her to forgive me!] when we were talking about a trip of a lifetime to Disney he insisted that ‘Bridezilla’ came too.

When she rang one night and said she was flying to Spain to work in a bar he paid for her flight and told her that her flight home was covered anytime…when she came back from Spain and rang to say she wanted to move in lock, stock and barrel he was delighted and proceeded to build wardrobes to fit all her shoe collection…he always gives her advice [even when she doesn’t want it!] and he is over the moon that she has asked him to be the ‘father of the bride’ on her special day…

There are a thousand things the ‘Hubby’ doesn’t do but there are a million things he does do: we call these his foibles: one of them is his ability to make us laugh…like for example:-

-due to financial hardship he had to sell his beloved larger car and make do with my cheaper runabout…you know it, the Kia…well he is a large man in height and width and the sight of their dad driving this little car caused the boys to refer to him as: ‘The Hulk in a mini…’

-he was driving along the main road and commented on how beautiful the lady on the pavement was; her hair swinging in the sunshine: except it turned out to be a man with very long hair…

-he was stuck in traffic and asked us all how on earth did that van get on the roof of the Asda…except that was the air conditioning equipment…

-he was most concerned that a swan was sitting at the side of the road…but it turned out to be a large, white, plastic carrier bag caught in some bushes…

[he has had his eyes tested!]

-he was in a telephone conversation with the aunt in Ireland when he asked; “Do you have weather over there?”…which has become a family saying…

-finally the most recent belly chuckle he gave the boys was when we were leaving a restaurant and he looked up at the car park:

“What’s that ******* doing in the boot of my car? I’m going to **** him…” as he set off to protect the car the ‘Cutie-pie’s’ voice could be heard echoing: “Run fat boy run!”

We fell about laughing as he approached the car, out of breath to realise that the man was in his own boot…just the same colour of car parked next to us…

For me one of the funniest, although painful, things he has ever said and done was a few weeks after the birth of the ‘Intelligent-one’; one evening he decided to romance me and standing at the foot of the bed he proclaimed that he was going to give me the best orgasm of my life and before I could get off the bed he jumped and landed full on top of me and we both heard the ‘snap’ of one of my ribs and we both felt a sudden shudder…not of ecstasy…  but of the bed collapsing…mmm romantic eh?!

Ah well, do you know what?
As a father and an uncle he is just perfect…
...as a ‘Hubby’ he is simply the best…

Happy Father’s Day ‘Hubby’ love from ‘Wifey’…xx

Blog54 s...coming soon...next Wednesday...

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